Respecting Children

Steinberg Ch. 10: Treat Your Child With Respect

*Getting and giving respect

-If you want your child to respect you, respect your child.
-Respecting your child does not mean disregarding bad behavior, but bad behavior doesn't mean your child disrespects you.
-Ask yourself, "Why do I think my child did this?" rather than "Why doesn't my child respect me?"

*Have Two-Way Conversations

-Most children wish their parents would talk to them more, but there is a difference between talking to and talking with.  You should be talking with by:
1.  Paying attention
2.  Actively solicit your child's viewpoint
3.  Ask questions that call for detailed responses rather than one-word answers.
4.  Don't interrupt
5.  Be genuine

*"Don't Talk Back"

-Your child's youth does not automatically make their feelings or thoughts irrelevant.
-Blanket statements like "don't talk back", "children should be seen and not heard", or "you'll understand when your older" teach children that disagreeing with someone is bad or disrespectful.  "You want your child to understand that reasonable people can disagree and discuss their disagreements respectfully.

*Let Your Child Act His Age

-"Childhood is not a race to see who gets to adulthood first".
-Let your child grow up at their own pace.  Don't be overly concerned about preparing them for preschool or things like that.  They will learn on their own if you let them explore and discover the things around them.
-Not every moment has to be a teaching moment for you and your child.

*Children Treat Others The Way Their Parents Treat Them

-Be respectful and kind to your children and they will likely grow up to be respectful and kind individuals.
-"There is no more important job in any society than raising children, and there is no more important influence on how children develop than their parents."