Becoming Christ-Like Parents

"What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye To Be"-Lynn G. Robins 
-Christ invites us to take upon His name and His nature.
-"To become as He is, we must do the things He did". (3 Nephi 27:21)
- You cannot separate "to be" and "to do".
-"Do without be--hypocrisy--portrays a false image to others, while be without do portrays a false image to oneself".
-While "do" is important, "be" is what really matters more.
EX) Do: baptism, BE: faith in Christ and a change of heart.
EX) Do: Sacrament, BE: being worthy to partake of the sacrament
- To-do lists can be accomplished, to-be lists will never be finished.
-"Teaching be will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on do will improve behavior".
-Discipline and disciple come from the same root.
-The greatest opportunity we have to teach and show our children Christlike characteristics is when we discipline them.  Discipline them "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness and pure knowledge" (D&C 121:41-42).
-A challenging child should be seen as an opportunity to become more Godlike ourselves.  You probably need this child just as much as this child needs you.
-Condemn the sin and not the sinner.  Make sure your child knows when you discipline them that what they did was wrong and that they are not inherently bad as a person.  Disappointing behavior is "an act, not an identity"
-Be careful with phrases like "you never" or "you always".  When these are used, the person can start to feel like the things that "they always" or "they never" are actually a part of their identity and they will change the person's perceptions of themselves or their self-worth.
-Talk to your children about Christlike attributes and help them identify when they shown any of those attributes.

a. What are the most significant points to you from this talk?  Why?

b. How are doctrines and principles connected to becoming?

c. What do you think requires more effort: do or be?

d. In what ways do college students get caught up in doing rather than becoming? (e.g., school, calling, church, service, career, etc)

Don't Look Beyond the Mark & Teaching Our Children To Understand

"Teaching Our Children To Understand"-Cheryl A. Esplin
-Raising children is a divine privilege and is a greater responsibility than we can handle on our own.  We must seek the Lord's help.
-Teaching is different than making sure they understand.
-We need to create an atmosphere where our children can feel the Spirit and we need to help them recognize what it is that they're feeling.
-Teach in the context of what they are experiencing in that moment.
-President Harold B. Lee taught, "Without experiencing a gospel principle in action, it is ... more difficult to believe in that principle".
-We can know they understand by their behavior when there are no punishments or rewards.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "We all understand that the success of the gospel message depends upon its being taught and then understood and then lived in such a way that its promise of happiness and salvation can be realized".
-Teaching for understanding takes consistent and determined effort.
-We need to also teach by example and help our kids live what they learn.

*"Hit the mark", "Don't look beyond the mark"----the mark is always Christ.  Are you focusing too much on the application and missing the real point? (Jacob 4:14)
ex) If you're being an advocate for the family but you're a jerk about it, you're missing the point.  Christ would use love and charity to advocate for the family.
ex) If your kid has a hard time going to seminary, it could be just a problem with "early to bed, early to rise" and it has nothing to do with their love for the gospel.  Your application for getting them to go will change when you see the real problem or the real principle they're struggling with and you aren't "missing the mark".
*What is the principle your child isn't fully understanding? Let this guide your applications.
*We're too quick to go to behaviorism.  We need to be guided by doctrine/principle.
*Personal characteristic to develop or change: .....

Doctrines, Principles, & Applications

"Acquiring Spiritual Knowledge"-Richard G. Scott
-Daily scripture study is a lifetime pursuit.
-Secular knowledge without a spiritual foundation is "like the foam upon the milk, the fleeting shadow". (Spencer W. Kimball)
-How to acquire spiritual knowledge and obey it with wisdom: in humility, seek divine light, exercise faith in Jesus Christ, hearken to His counsel,  keep His commandments.
-As you gain spiritual knowledge it must be understood, valued, obeyed, remembered, and expanded.
1. Understood: Examine elements of truth in the light of prior knowledge to see if it fits.  Ponder and study it from every vantage point to discover hidden meaning.  View it in perspective so that you don't jump to false conclusions.  Prayerfully reflect for further understanding; especially if the knowledge came by revelation.
2.  Valued: Show your knowledge is valued by expressing heartfelt prayers of gratitude to the Lord.
3.  Obeyed: Obedient application of truth is the surest way of making it eternally yours.
4.  Remembered: Write down the knowledge you gain.  This ensures that you have it in times of need and it also shows the Lord that you treasure that knowledge.  This will make it more likely in the future that you receive more spiritual knowledge.
5.  Expanded: Use scriptures and words from the prophets to expand your knowledge.  Efforts to share knowledge are often rewarded with more understanding as additional light flows into your mind and heart.
-Gain so much spiritual knowledge that there is no way and no person in the world who could ever make you doubt.
-Humility is central to the acquiring of spiritual knowledge.
-To be humble is to be teachable.
-Gaining spiritual knowledge takes intense personal effort.  You should carefully select the vital areas where you can focus your effort to learn and to share.
-The word of the Lord = truth = light = spirit (spirit of Jesus Christ).
-Obedience is crucial to gaining spiritual knowledge.  To keep the commandments, you must know them.
-All of the principles of the gospel are principles of promise.
-Learning absolute truth is a privilege.

"Gospel Doctrines: Anchors to Our Souls"-Marlin K. Jensen
-Gospel doctrines are powerful shapers of human behavior.
-"True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior". (Boyd K. Packer)
-Joseph didn't give in to Potiphar's wife because he was concerned about what the Lord would think; not about how Potiphar would react or unwanted pregnancy or disease.

1. Learning The Doctrine
-You cant teach what you haven't learned.
-Our knowledge will help save us, but we must pay the price to obtain it.

2. Applying The Doctrine
-Learning and teaching doctrine to our families is the greatest service we can do for them.
-As we study gospel doctrines, we come to better understand their relationships with each other (justice/mercy, agency/love, repentance/punishment).

3.  The Power Of Doctrine
-The best measurement of how well we understand gospel principles is how clearly and simply we teach and live them.
-There is a special spirit and power present when gospel doctrines are taught that isn't necessarily there in other topics.
-What we teach can help others during critical times in their lives and can even help them change behaviors for the better.

*The point of learning is to teach and serve others.

*Elder Bednar's Model

• -Doctrines: Gospel Doctrines answer the question of "why".  They do not change and they always pertain to our eternal progression.
• -Principles: Doctrinally based guidelines for the righteous exercise of moral agency.  Principles provide direction and answer the question of "what".

            -Both doctrines and principles provide basic behavioral guidelines.

• -Applications: Answer the question of "how".  They are the actual behaviors, actions, or procedures.

*If applications are disconnected from doctrines and principles, they are empty.
*Knowing is not understanding.
*Coming to understand the doctrines and principles behind certain applications will change the way you view and do those applications.  The answers are always in the doctrine.
*We need to teach our children more of the doctrines and principles rather than just the applications.
*Applications alone do not have the power to save.

Learning To Love Learning

"Learning To Love Learning"-David A. Bednar
1. Learning to love learning is central to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
-The atonement was designed to help us learn.
-The Holy Ghost can help our desires to learn and the capacity we have to learn enlarge. 
-The church exists today to help us learn about our divine potentials and places in Heaven.
-Not all learning is equally important; we need to be acquiring and applying knowledge for righteousness. 
-The church advocates the type of learning that helps us develop our Godlike character.
2. Learning to Love Learning Is Vital to Our Ongoing Spiritual and Personal Development
-We should not be bound by the structures of formal school-type learning.  We can learn in so many more ways than those we employ in school.
-Learn quickly, strengthen your mind and faith, share your knowledge.
-We are learning to "know as we are known, and see as we are seen".
3.  Learning to Love Learning Is an Absolute Necessity in the World in Which We Do Now and Will Yet Live, Serve, and Work
-Learn so that you can serve effectively.
-In the end, what we learn in school will become outdated and what we will need to rely on is the love we develop of further learning.
-Knowing how to learn will prepare us for opportunities in the future that others may not readily see.


"Learning and Latter-Day Saints"- Dallin H. Oaks
-Learning is a sacred activity.

1. Our Quest For Truth-Seek for help from the Spirit in all our learning.
-Focus less on trends of the world and more on principles of the gospel.
-Put spiritual things first in life, and you will be directed to certain types of learning that the Lord sees fit for you and your service in this life.

2. Personal Worthiness
-We must be worthy of revelation for deeper learning.
-Repentance is an essential step along the path of learning.  It will clear our minds and focus us on the things we need to be focused on.

3. Education
-Education enhances our financial ability to care for a family in the future.

4. Crossroads
-"Take the first step and doors will open".
-Choose your learning carefully; learning has an eternal shelf life.
-“Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle." President Monson.

5. Hunger To Learn
-Expand ourselves and enjoy the journey in all types of learning.
-We may struggle to achieve our goals, but our struggles may yield as much growth as our learning.
-The ultimate goal of education is to make us better parents and servants in the Lord's kingdom.

*When you are learning for the purpose of someone else, you learn so much more.
*We need not only "hands-on" experience, but also "heads-on" experience.  We don't learn if we're only going through the motions.  We also need to be mentally engaged.
*If you don't love learning, it'll be difficult to teach your children to love it.