"Courageous Parenting"- Larry R. Lawrence
- “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid” (Joshua 1:9)
-The Proclamation teaches that we are responsible for the protection of our children; this means physical as well as spiritual protection.
-Love your child enough to speak directly to them as Alma spoke directly to his son Corianton.
-Early intervention
-"Parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them".
-“Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.”-Robert D. Hales-"Parenting is not a popularity contest".-Elder Joe J. Christensen
-Husbands and wives need to be united in their parenting decisions.
-“When morality is involved, we have both the right and the obligation to raise a warning voice.”-Boyd K. Packer
-No sleepovers
-"Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night."
-Courageous parenting doesn't always mean saying "no". You also have to have the courage to say "yes".
-"Consider five fundamental practices that have the power to fortify our youth: family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, family dinner together, and regular one-on-one interviews with each child."
-It takes courage to do those five things.
-"One of the most effective ways we can influence our sons and daughters is to counsel with them in private interviews. By listening closely, we can discover the desires of their hearts, help them set righteous goals, and also share with them the spiritual impressions that we have received about them. Counseling requires courage."
"Only Upon The Principles Of Righteousness"- Elder Larry Y. Wilson
-The right to use the priesthood in the home or elsewhere is directly connected with righteousness in our lives: “The powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness”. It goes on to say that we lose that power when we “exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of [others], in any degree of unrighteousness.”
-We lose our right to the Lord’s Spirit and to whatever authority we have from God when we exercise control over another person in an unrighteous manner.4 We may think such methods are for the good of the one being “controlled.” But anytime we try to compel someone to righteousness who can and should be exercising his or her own moral agency, we are acting unrighteously.
-When setting firm limits for another person is in order, those limits should always be administered with loving patience and in a way that teaches eternal principles.
-Compulsion builds resentment. It conveys mistrust, and it makes people feel incompetent.
-Unrighteous dominion is often accompanied by constant criticism and the withholding of approval or love.
-If parents hold on to all decision-making power and see it as their “right,” they severely limit the growth and development of their children.
-Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them. They provide opportunities for growth as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency properly.
-Helping children exercise their agency properly requires teaching them how to pray and receive answers to their prayers.
-President Henry B. Eyring has said, “Of all the help we can give … young people, the greatest will be to let them feel our confidence that they are on the path home to God and that they can make it.
-The right to use the priesthood in the home or elsewhere is directly connected with righteousness in our lives: “The powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness”. It goes on to say that we lose that power when we “exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of [others], in any degree of unrighteousness.”
-We lose our right to the Lord’s Spirit and to whatever authority we have from God when we exercise control over another person in an unrighteous manner.4 We may think such methods are for the good of the one being “controlled.” But anytime we try to compel someone to righteousness who can and should be exercising his or her own moral agency, we are acting unrighteously.
-When setting firm limits for another person is in order, those limits should always be administered with loving patience and in a way that teaches eternal principles.
-Compulsion builds resentment. It conveys mistrust, and it makes people feel incompetent.
-Unrighteous dominion is often accompanied by constant criticism and the withholding of approval or love.
-If parents hold on to all decision-making power and see it as their “right,” they severely limit the growth and development of their children.
-Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them. They provide opportunities for growth as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency properly.
-Helping children exercise their agency properly requires teaching them how to pray and receive answers to their prayers.
-President Henry B. Eyring has said, “Of all the help we can give … young people, the greatest will be to let them feel our confidence that they are on the path home to God and that they can make it.
"The Parenting Pyramid"- The Arbinger Company
-The most important question is more often "how do I help things go right", and not "how do I punish and correct this behavior" or "what do I do, now that something has gone wrong"?
-"Whatever our individual circumstances with our children, the key to effective parenting is to reverse this order in expenditure of time and energy. It is to begin focusing our energy on helping things go right rather than on handling them once they have gone wrong".
*Am I Correcting My Children Without Teaching Them?
-"The effectiveness of our correction of our children, whatever method we use, will always depend on the effectiveness of our prior teaching of them".
-"The better we teach our children, the fewer mistakes they'll make".
-"The more effective we are at teaching...the easier it is to correct them when we have to".
-Discipline should be more like teaching.
*What Is The Quality Of My Relationship With My Children?
-You have to build a relationship with your children before you can effectively teach them.
*What Is The Quality Of My Relationship With My Spouse?
-The quality of the relationship you have with your spouse is never separate from the quality of the relationship you have with your children. They are connected.
-If there are marital conflicts, children are almost always used or involved.
*How Pure Is My "Way Of Being"?
-Way of being=who we are as people.
-Who we are=the function of our deepest attitudes and sensibilities towards others.
-Our way of being is how we see, experience, and regard people in the world.
-The foundations of parenthood focus on individual goodness, loving relationships in our marriage and with our children, and on teaching.
-These are also the foundations of effective correction when correction is required.
*Using The Parenting Pyramid
-"The solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid lies below that part of the pyramid".
-The pyramid is a plan for prevention, but sometimes its too late for prevention.
-"Whenever drastic correction is called for with a child, we should begin working on the three deepest levels of the pyramid immediately and simultaneously".
-Do not let corrective action use up all your energy.
-Do what you can, where you can in the pyramid.
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