- What parallels can you draw from this story about parenting and attachment?
- What lessons can parents learn from this story?
Temperament: What Makes Your Child Unique?
-The idea we have of the "perfect" child usually ends up being a child who is insecure and afraid to test boundaries or make mistakes. These children are called "easy children".
-Temperament: The qualities and characteristics that contribute to individual personalities.
A. The Berkley Studies
-Studied active and passive temperaments in the the 60's and 70's and found that temperaments tend to be lifelong. A passive child will be a passive adult; an active child will be an active adult.
-By understanding temperaments, we can help children reach their full potentials.
B. The Nine Temperaments
-The nine temperaments: activity level, rhythmicity, initial response (approach or withdrawal), adaptability, sensory threshold, quality of mood, intensity of reaction, distractibility, and persistence and attention span.
1. Activity level: A child's level of motor activity and the proportion of active and inactive periods.
-Plan ahead and set yourself up for success. Have activities that will make the most of their energy (swim lessons, gymnastics). Match your expectations to your child's abilities.
-Schedule time for yourself.
-Learn to love your child for who he/she is.
2. Rhythmicity: The predictability/unpredictability of biological functions, such as sleep, hunger, and bowel movements.
-Understanding this will help parents schedule a child's day in a way that that will ease conflict and stress for everyone.
-Let them help plan dinner and they will be less picky about what they're eating.
3. Initial Response: The way a child reacts to a new situation or stimulus.
-Approach responses involve mood expressions (smiling, facial expressions, speech) or motor activity (swallowing a new food, joining a new play-mate, re-reaching for a new toy).
-Withdrawal responses (sometimes slow to warm up) are more negative and are expressed by mood (crying, facial expressions, speech) or motor activity (running away, throwing a new toy, spitting food out).
-Learn to recognize these cues and respond in encouraging and nurturing ways.
4. Adaptability: How a child reacts to a new situation over time- whether they are able to adjust and change.
-Put child's needs first and give them time. (ex: Divorce)
5. Sensory Threshold: The level of sensitivity to sensory input (waking up from a nap every time the door opens vs. being able to sleep through anything, complaining about tight clothes or rough sheets vs. bumping heads and scraping knees without even knowing).
6. Quality of Mood: Reacting to life with pleasure and acceptance vs. finding fault with everything and everyone (negative/positive moods).
-Be sensitive to moods. If they often see the dark side, its not because of your parenting. Share your happiness and positivity with him/her every once in a while.
7. Intensity of Reaction: The degree to which a child responds to events around them. Some smile quietly or merely take a look and then go back to what they were doing, while others react with action and emotion (ex: tantrums).
-Children have different intensity levels.
8. Distractibility: The way in which outside stimulus interferes with a child's present behavior and his/her willingness/unwillingness to be diverted.
-Low distractibility= high focus on one thing.
-High distractibility= low focus on just one thing, can be swayed by other things.
9. Persistence & Attention Span: Persistence is a child's willingness to pursue an activity in the face of obstacles or difficulties; attention span describes the length of time he/she will pursue and activity without interruption.
-A child with a short attention span and little persistence does NOT necessarily have ADD.
-Most doctors will not diagnose ADD until the child is about 5 years old because before that time, impulsive behavior, high activity levels, and short attention spans may be due to temperament.
C. Temperament: Challenge or Opportunity?
-Understanding temperament helps parents and teachers encourage acceptance instead of unrealistic expectations.
D. Goodness of Fit: The depth of understanding parents and teachers have of a child's temperament and their willingness to work with that child to encourage healthy development.
-Temperament is an invitation to help a child develop acceptable behavior and skills.
-The needs of the parents and the children need to be met. FInd the balance between your needs and the child's.
E. Needs of the Situation
-FInding different ways to treat situations based off the child's temperament as well as the parent's.
F. Kindness & Firmness
-Kindness shows respect for the child and their uniqueness.
-Firmness shows respect for the needs of the situation.
*Work for improvement, not perfection. Parents and children are constantly influencing each other. Don't try to just make your child fit-in. This will squelch their creativity and individuality.
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